Writing a Eulogy – A Kind Guide from Dils
Beginning a eulogy can feel overwhelming, and Dils understands that a blank page can be the hardest part of the journey. Often, a celebrant will work closely with you and your family to help shape the words that best reflect your loved one’s life and spirit. A good place to begin is by noting three small memories that still make you smile.
Once you have those, consider adding a moment of gratitude and a simple closing wish, giving your eulogy a natural beginning, a warm centre and a calm end.
Gathering stories becomes easier when you listen for patterns. Your celebrant may encourage you to ask friends and family for short notes about habits, sayings and small rituals that defined your loved one.
These details often bring their personality to life far more than milestones alone. When you read through these memories, choose two or three that truly capture their essence, the ones that make people nod and smile because they recognise the person you’re describing.
Structure can bring comfort on the day. A simple outline might include a welcome, a life snapshot, two stories, a note of thanks and a goodbye. If you’re unsure, your celebrant can help guide this flow so it feels natural to you. Short sentences and gentle pauses can make your words easier to deliver, and remember, no one expects perfection; speaking from the heart always matters most.
Tone is a kindness to both yourself and the room. A eulogy is not a biography; it’s a truthful glimpse that helps those gathered to remember and heal. If humour belonged to your loved one, it’s okay to include it. If emotion rises, take your time. Everyone present understands that love sounds like tears as often as it sounds like laughter.
Choosing details matters more than grand moments. A favourite mug, a well-loved garden path, or a treasured song can hold more meaning than achievements ever could. When you share these small truths, the room will lean in because they hear the person they knew and loved.
On the day, your voice is enough. If you feel nervous, look up now and then and find a familiar face. You can also ask your celebrant or a family member to share the reading with you. Sometimes, dividing the words between two people helps make the moment gentler to manage.
After you speak, it’s natural to feel a wave of emotion. Take a moment before rejoining your family. If you wish to share your eulogy later, your celebrant can arrange for it to be included in the order of service keepsake or placed near the memory book for others to read.
