When a loved one dies, the impact on children and young people can sometimes be overlooked. On the North Shore of Auckland, Albany, Birkenhead, Hibiscus Coast, families often ask: how do we help our children understand, feel and heal? At Dils Funeral Services we understand that children mourn differently. This guide offers thoughtful suggestions for families.
Recognise that children grieve differently. Young people may not express grief in adult ways, they might withdraw, play more, ask repeated questions, act out. It’s not about being “brave” or hiding emotions; it’s about helping them feel safe to express.
Explain with honesty, age-appropriate language. Use clear, simple terms. Encourage questions. Let them see how you feel too , that gives permission for their own feelings.
Include them in the farewell if they feel able. At the service, children might choose a photo for the memorial display, place a flower, or sit with someone they trust. At Dils we can help families decide how to involve young ones in ways that feel right for them.
Maintain routines and provide reassurance. After the service, returning to familiar routines helps children feel secure. Encourage play, socialising, letting them express themselves. At the same time check how they are doing at school or with friends.
Encourage memory-making and connection. Young people especially benefit from tangible ways to remember. Create a memory box together: photos, notes, art. They become part of the process of remembering, not just watching from the sideline.
Seek support if you feel it’s needed. Grief can be complex and children sometimes carry hidden burdens. In the Auckland North Shore region there are counsellors and support services, don’t hesitate to reach out.
At Dils Funeral Services we understand the ripple effect of loss. Our team supports not only the ceremony’s logistics, but also the needs of the whole family, including children and young people. We create a respectful service, then remain available after the service for support and resources. Because grief takes time and no one should go through it alone.
